Tag: feminism

Posted on

Empowering Our Daughters

My eldest daughter is entering her teenage years.  She’s self-admittedly stubborn.  She marches to her own beat, and she doesn’t take crap from me or anyone else.  She has a biting, sardonic sense of humor.  She thinks Twilight is stupid.  I’m so proud of her.  

These days, I embarrass her.  I’m clueless about her tastes, what’s cool, what’s fashionable in her circles, and, pretty much, everything else.  I can’t force her to do anything. 

And I’m so proud of her. Even when I want to pull out my hair.

Because, one day, these qualities will help her grow into a strong, self-assured, independent young woman, who is confident in whatever path she chooses for herself.  And that’s exactly what I want for her.  

Recently, I asked if she wanted to get her boating license.  We’d had a blast on the water the prior summer, and the idea that, under Connecticut law, she’d be permitted to captain a 50’ yacht before she could drive a car appealed to her ironic sense of humor.  Or, maybe, just maybe, she loves the water, just like her mom.  

So she got up early on a Saturday morning to take the day-long class and exam, which she passed (phew!). Afterward, I asked how it went.

She smirked, “Now I know how to trailer a boat.  I can’t drive.  And we don’t own a trailer . . . or a boat.  But I can trailer one.”  

I laughed—that’s my girl—and explained how I’ve never used the “rule against perpetuities” as a lawyer, but had to learn it nevertheless for the bar exam.     

Boater’s Ed Before Driver’s Ed

Next, it was time for boater’s ed.  Captain Jeff, a grandfatherly, incredibly patient Coast Guard retiree, was tasked with teaching someone who had never even driven a car to drive and dock a boat. As he quizzed her, I was relieved to learn that she’d taken the class seriously and retained useful information from it.  

We practiced docking.  I did my best to keep my mouth shut and my face impassive, and she did great as her confidence grew.  Then, it was time to push the throttle forward for the first time.  

I watched the wake spread out behind us, and, as she felt the sheer power of the engine propel us forward, a huge grin spread across her face . . . just like her mom. 

Posted on

EmPowered

So, what’s the deal with the boats?  I’d been a passenger on a boat before, and I had always enjoyed it. I also love spending time near the ocean.  Ocean air relaxes me like nothing else does.  I’d been wanting to try boating for years, and this summer I finally took the plunge.  We joined a boat club (essentially “Zipcars” for boats) called Carefree Boat Club. We’re members of the Southern Connecticut branch.

Being a passenger on a boat was fun, but it didn’t prepare me for the sheer thrill of operating one.  I still recall the first time I left the harbor and pushed the throttle forward.   The engine roared to life, the sea breeze washed over me and relaxed me instantly, and I looked back to watch my wake split the water behind us.  How did I feel?  Freedom, joy, energy, and a sense of empowerment.  I was the captain of our ship, and I could take us anywhere.

That sense of empowerment carried over to other aspects of my life.  Sometimes I’ll try to get out on the water a day or two before an important hearing or deposition.  It focuses me and gives me more of an edge.

Working moms, in particular, are notorious for failing to take time for themselves- we feel guilty about it because there are so many obligations and chores.   That is a big mistake, which I had made for years.  Do one thing each week that lifts your spirits and empowers you.  It could be a fitness class, a girl’s night out, or, in my case, pushing that throttle forward.   You are worth it.  But if that doesn’t convince you, I’ll give you a guilt-free reason to do it-  it will make you a better mother, coworker, spouse, daughter, etc.  Really, it will.