Pana-Sea

On the water in San Francisco and on a Carefree boat in Long Island Sound

“[A]ll of us have, in our veins the exact same percentage of salt in our blood that exists in the ocean, and, therefore, we have salt in our blood, in our sweat, in our tears. We are tied to the ocean.  And when we go back to the sea, whether it is to sail or to watch it we are going back from whence we came.” President John F. Kennedy (1962)

Last spring, I discovered boating.  Before long, the ocean became my favorite place, as well as my panacea.  Perhaps it’s in my DNA—apparently, my French-Canadian great-great grandfather captained a ferryboat between Weehawken and Manhattan.  Although genetics may play a role, I think that the explanation is simpler and more universal.  In a 21st Century data-driven world, it is easy to spend nearly all our waking hours indoors staring at screens.  Then our free time gets carved up shuttling the kids from place-to-place, managing the household, and that pesky phone is always dinging and buzzing, vying for our already-fractured attention.  

I didn’t even know it last spring, but I desperately craved nature, fresh air, and space—things that are probably hard-wired in us as fundamental human needs.   

As our society’s collective pace increases, those basic human needs are easily shoved to the wayside.  We drink more and more coffee, drive, talk, and eat faster, and get crankier and less patient with each other.  We’ve all seen the Starbucks patron yelling at the barista (“I ordered a SOY latte, not a SKIM latte!”), or the driver who swerves into traffic and flips the bird out the window when the person behind honks an angry response. 

On the water, my world is reduced to the simple elements of speed, sun, and fresh salty air—for a few hours, at least, I can go back to whence I came.  The ocean is peaceful, yet exhilarating.  You’re flying fast, yet the breakneck pace of 21st Century life slows down. You have time and space to think, to feel, to be alive.  That’s why I’m drawn to the sea.  

Work hard, but relax sometimes too . . . like this guy.

So work hard, but don’t burn yourself out. Find your passion.  Find your fresh air and your space.  Then make room for it by saying “no,” here and there, to the endless stream of chores and obligations, which will pile on relentlessly until you set limits.  

And be kind to the poor, hapless Starbucks barista—whatever is going on in your life, it’s not her fault.              

Empowering Our Daughters

My eldest daughter is entering her teenage years.  She’s self-admittedly stubborn.  She marches to her own beat, and she doesn’t take crap from me or anyone else.  She has a biting, sardonic sense of humor.  She thinks Twilight is stupid.  I’m so proud of her.  

These days, I embarrass her.  I’m clueless about her tastes, what’s cool, what’s fashionable in her circles, and, pretty much, everything else.  I can’t force her to do anything. 

And I’m so proud of her. Even when I want to pull out my hair.

Because, one day, these qualities will help her grow into a strong, self-assured, independent young woman, who is confident in whatever path she chooses for herself.  And that’s exactly what I want for her.  

Recently, I asked if she wanted to get her boating license.  We’d had a blast on the water the prior summer, and the idea that, under Connecticut law, she’d be permitted to captain a 50’ yacht before she could drive a car appealed to her ironic sense of humor.  Or, maybe, just maybe, she loves the water, just like her mom.  

So she got up early on a Saturday morning to take the day-long class and exam, which she passed (phew!). Afterward, I asked how it went.

She smirked, “Now I know how to trailer a boat.  I can’t drive.  And we don’t own a trailer . . . or a boat.  But I can trailer one.”  

I laughed—that’s my girl—and explained how I’ve never used the “rule against perpetuities” as a lawyer, but had to learn it nevertheless for the bar exam.     

Boater’s Ed Before Driver’s Ed

Next, it was time for boater’s ed.  Captain Jeff, a grandfatherly, incredibly patient Coast Guard retiree, was tasked with teaching someone who had never even driven a car to drive and dock a boat. As he quizzed her, I was relieved to learn that she’d taken the class seriously and retained useful information from it.  

We practiced docking.  I did my best to keep my mouth shut and my face impassive, and she did great as her confidence grew.  Then, it was time to push the throttle forward for the first time.  

I watched the wake spread out behind us, and, as she felt the sheer power of the engine propel us forward, a huge grin spread across her face . . . just like her mom. 

Navigation 41° 10.1

Life on the water brings with it a whole new skill set, as well as an entirely different vocabulary, like port and starboard, instead of left and right.  It takes time to get it all straight.  

On one of our first outings last summer, we cruised into a foreign port and radioed the harbormaster to ask for a transient slip.  Then we told him that our boat had a 3’ beam.  

There was a pause.  Then the radio crackled. “Uh, we don’t have slips for boats that size.”  

The “beam” is the boat’s width. 

I can only imagine what he was thinking.  “Are these people in a kayak??  Are they on crack??  Are they utter morons??”

Utter morons- that would be accurate. Or let’s just say “newbies.”  3’ is the draft—how much of the boat is underwater.

To prepare for season two, I took Carefree Boat’s navigation class, essentially “Navigation 101” for new boaters.  Captain Rich taught us how to read a chart and plot a course.  Most importantly, I learned how to pinpoint my location if I’m lost and the GPS goes out. That would have been helpful during my wintertime girls (boat) trip in Florida (see my post under “Destinations”).  

It was an incredibly useful, practical, hands on course.  We got to use the tools and practice plotting on charts—sort of like science lab back in high school, but minus the teenage angst, acne, and worries about grades and SAT scores.  

I have my custom fit boat-to-shore attire, and now I have my heading.  It’s time to rock and roll out on the waves for 2019.  Bring it on!               

Boat-to-Shore Wear

Men have it easy- guys can throw a polo shirt over swim trunks and walk into a reasonably upscale waterfront restaurant.  Us girls deserve something just as easy and comfortable because changing clothes in the head just doesn’t cut it.  (For non-boaters, the head is a boat bathroom, and most of them are about half the size of a port-a-potty).  Throwing a dress over a damp swimsuit isn’t all that fun either, particularly if the restaurant is air-conditioned.

I set to work to solve this wardrobe inequity by combining something modern (nylon-blend swimwear fabric) with a classic 1940s-era look. Then I took out my needle and thread (or, really, my Serger and trusty old Bernina).  This swimsuit should transition seamlessly from a casual dip in the water, to boating across the waves, to trading your flip-flops for sandals and dinner in port.  Now, on to the boat-testing phase- if only it would get warm enough!      

Girls (Boat) Trip

Exploring the Florida Keys with boater girls Denise, Lisa, and Heather

Two Floridians invited two sun-starved Connecticut girls to a weekend in the Florida Keys, and they were kind enough to humor us when we wanted to spend every single secondoutdoors in weather that the locals viewed as subarctic.  What ensued? Girls (Boat) Trip, of course.  

First, we found rental boat.  The conditions weren’t ideal, and the boat’s owner was incredulous, “Are you sure you want to go boating today?”  

I didn’t hesitate.  “Temps in the 50s?  Two foot waves?  Yes!! I’ll be captain.”  After boating in the late fall in Connecticut, I felt right at home. 

I promised to bring the boat back in one piece . . . more on that later.  

Before long, we found ourselves surrounded by beauty: bright blue water, seabirds wading along the shores, mangroves, and . . . toilet seats.  That’s not a typo.  We had found toilet seat cut, a dredged channel near Islamorada, marked by imaginatively decorated toilet seats hanging from poles.  Apparently, locals with a sense of humor have been decorating the channel for over fifty years, and now it’s quite the tourist attraction (See http://www.allatsea.net/how-toilet-seat-cut-in-islamorada-came-to-be/). After clearing the cut, we cruised through mangrove-lined Tavernier Creek to the Atlantic side of the Keys before heading south toward Snake Creek, which would take us back to the Gulf side. 

Just a few of the many toilet seats marking toilet seat cut

I must say that learning to boat on Carefree’s late-model Chaparral Suncoast 250s has spoiled me.  After spending last summer on big boats with ample horsepower and stainless steel props, driving a 19’ boat with a 115-horsepower engine felt like trading in the Corvette for a golf cart.  Then, a gauge started beeping and flashing “low battery,” the Bluetooth cut out, and the GPS started turning off and on, off and on.  As we headed into Snake Creek, the engine sputtered and stopped. We were dead in the water.  

Did I break it? No- I think it was the battery

Luckily, we ended up with a tow-boat, not a rowboat—they promptly came out to get us and, after an unsuccessful attempted jump-start, we were towed back to the dock.  We had a cooler, snacks, and more time on the water, so all was well as we kicked back with a few drinks during the ride home.  

Great seafood was another highlight of our trip.  We ate at Marker 88, which is right on the water and features live music and seafood.  Back in Ft. Lauderdale, I gorged on delicious stone crab claws, a Floridian wintertime delicacy, at Catfish Deweys.  It wasn’t quite Girls Trip—there certainly weren’t any escapades involving zip lines or citrus fruit—but we had a blast.  Boating & seafood & island hopping in a shiny white Mustang convertible was a welcome respite from the cold.      

Puerto Rican Paraíso

Enjoying “Hot Tamale” in Puerto Rico

When a friend suggested Puerto Rico as a vacation destination, I balked at first. After hearing about the island’s financial woes and the devastation wrought by hurricane Maria in 2017, I worried about what we’d find. But after reading multiple recent good reviews of hotels on Trip Advisor and hearing Lin Manuel Miranda’s entreaties to support the island’s economy, I was intrigued. The quick 3.5 hour flight from New York or Connecticut (and that we could avoid the headaches of passing through immigration and changing currency) cinched the deal.

Puerto Rico did not disappoint. There still is hurricane damage, for sure- on the way home from a rainforest tour, we passed row after row of dilapidated structures, mostly consisting of modest no-longer-habitable homes.  In contrast, the touristy Condado beach neighborhood and Old San Juan have been fully restored, and they offer plenty of activities and food options for visitors.  I hope that our tourist dollars contributed to the gargantuan task of getting at least some local families back on their feet. 

While the touristy sections of Old San Juan have been restored, numerous modest homes remain devastated

Activities:

Boating was at the top of my list of must-do activities—even if I visit the landlocked desert, I’d bet that I could work a boat into the trip somehow.  Luckily, San Juan had plenty of boat-centered recreational options.  We rented a snappy red Yamaha jet boat- aptly named “Hot Tamale”- from San Juan Boat Rentals.  After visiting Castillo San Felipe del Morro on land, we got to see it as the 17th century Spanish sea captains did.  Instead of scanning the horizon for pirates, however, we worried only about avoiding novice jet-skiers and towering mega cruise ships.  We anchored in a calm inlet near the city walls of Old San Juan and swam in the warm turquoise-blue waters, followed by my daughter’s first time on a wakeboard (she’s now hooked). The highlight, of course, was when I got to take the wheel and zoom across the bay—a welcome dose of medication for my boat fever.

Another highlight was a tour of the El Yunque Rain Forest, which we arranged through the tour desk at our hotel.  El Yunque is a world away from Puerto Rico’s sandy Caribbean beaches.  It is lush and green, and filled with dazzling waterfalls and mountain views. Our guide, Janilla, was comedian, historian, naturalist, photographer, and mother-hen all rolled into one, informing us about the local flora and fauna and island culture and history, all the while keeping us on schedule.  She also guided us to a roadside stand for lunch, where we enjoyed conch fritters, roast chicken, and pasteles, which is a Puerto Rican Christmastime treat of root vegetables, meat, and plantain, all wrapped in banana leaves.  

Wining and Dining:

Excellent food options abounded.  Highlights included a chocolate brunch at Chocobar Cortés, which features Caribbean-farmed chocolate in every dish.  We devoured the chocolate French toast, churros with chocolate sauce, and I treated myself to chocolate milk spiked with Puerto Rican rum (yum!). For dinner, most of our best meals were a quick Uber-ride outside of the touristy Condado beach neighborhood.  Musa Gastro Pub features a wide selection of delicious cocktails and gourmet riffs on traditional Puerto Rican fare. It was also kid-friendly with excellent service.  Asere Cubano was in a vibrant neighborhood filled with bars and live music. The chef served up a whole fried red snapper, killer empanadas, and coconut flan for dessert.  Oceano was memorable for its food, service, and atmosphere.  We sat on a terrace overlooking the ocean, watching the glittering lights of cruise ships travel east along the Puerto Rican coast.  Enjoying Atlantic shrimp while listening to waves crash on the shore and breathing in the salty ocean air was my version of perfecto.                         

Travel Tips:

If you’re staying in the Condado beach neighborhood or Old San Juan, there’s no need to rent a car at the airport.  Everything we wanted to see and do was a quick, reasonably-priced cab or Uber ride away, and parking on the beach strip was expensive- $25/day at our hotel.    

Eating out three meals a day will kill your vacation budget.  We stayed at La Concha in one of the tower suites.  Although the room was slightly more expensive, the kitchenette allowed us to buy groceries locally and eat breakfast in the room.  I also packed our suitcase with breakfast and snack staples from home, including chocolate-chip banana bread, homemade focaccia, and Clif Bars. Some days, we also reheated our dinner leftovers for lunch, and we bought a tub of ice cream at the grocery store, instead of buying ice cream for the kids at restaurants.

La Concha was a great place to stay, with two infinity pools (one was adults-only) overlooking the ocean, and a wide expanse of beach just steps from the pools.  In the evening, there was live music at the hotel bar and a DJ.  La Concha was also a short walk away from groceries, coffee houses, pharmacies, and multiple eateries.

All-in-all Puerto Rico offered an excellent balance of beach-time, hiking, food, culture, and history (as well as a welcome respite from the cold, dark environs back home).  Adiós San Juan . . . at least until next time.             

Boat Fever

After a highly symptomatic summer, I recently received a diagnosis of boat fever. Apparently, it is incurable.  But don’t worry, it isn’t terminal, and the symptoms are bothersome only during the winter months.  I looked it up on WebMD and mayoclinic.org and came up empty, so I created my own entry.

Who’s at Risk?

 Anyone who loves beaches, the ocean, or is drawn to any other body of water.  Adventure-seekers, explorers, and thrill-seekers also are at risk. Individuals who enjoy having fun with friends and family are susceptible too.

What are the Symptoms?

  • Paying close attention to weather reports to identify good boating days
  • A willingness to drop nearly everything when the weather is perfect for boating
  • The inability to comprehend why other people might choose non-boating or indoors activities during boating season (“You want to see a movie when its 80 degrees and sunny . . . why?”)
  • Taking on the role of cruise director for your family and friends
  • A near-instantaneous feeling of relaxation, contentment, and exhilaration upon leaving the harbor

When to Contact Your Doctor

 It’s incurable, and there are no treatment programs or clinical trials, so don’t bother.  And, by the way, most people who are diagnosed with boat fever don’t want to find a cure (even in the most severe cases, like me).  The symptoms can be managed by spending as much time as possible on the water.

Disclaimer:  This article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.  If you think this is a real medical condition, you have no sense of humor.

Business Boatertainment

It all began when Kathleen Turner wanted to try my apple pie. When the star of Serial Mom asks for a slice of your pie, you oblige.  Ms. Turner was in New Haven for Long Wharf Theatre’s 2012 production of The Killing of Sister George, and my husband and I invited the entire cast, stage management team, and director over for a home-cooked meal.

Thus began a tradition of welcoming Long Wharf’s visiting artists to New Haven with meals in our home.  We also host the staff and board of directors for an annual season kickoff party, and we donate an invitation to one of the cast dinners to Long Wharf as a gala auction item. 

This year, we decided to mix it up and donated a boat ride. We served dinner on the water, and our guests sipped wine and enjoyed the views.  It was one of the most successful auction items at the gala (which was good for the theater), and we got to drive a boat (which was fun for us).

Of course, we always go the extra mile- nautical or otherwise-for Long Wharf.  My husband has devoted 11 years of his career to the theater and, when we first moved to Connecticut, I was a member of the production staff—those are the folks who work behind the scenes to make all the magic happen.  I left Long Wharf Theatre during the difficult, uncertain times following Doug Hughes’s sudden and unexpected departure.  I eventually went to law school, but our family still has a deep connection and devotion to Long Wharf and its mission.

Businesspeople entertain clients at country clubs, social clubs, and sporting events- why not use your boat club membership for business entertaining?  In my humble opinion, it’s much more fun.

Special thanks to Carefree Boat Club for helping us make this year’s Long Wharf Theatre auction item a success.

 

 

What the Dock?

I’ve developed a new appreciation for this.  I’ve parallel parked a SUV in Manhattan with one foot to spare on either end and a parade of angry cab drivers behind me.  How difficult could it be to get a boat into a slip?

As I learned this summer, it’s the hardest part.  Unlike cars, boats are not firmly attached to the ground- you point the bow one way to dock, but the boat doesn’t necessarily stay headed in that direction, and boats don’t stop immediately when you want them to—a function of floating in water/lacking brakes.

On one particularly windy day, I spun 360 degrees in the channel as I was leaving the harbor before I got us heading in the correct direction.  Luckily, the few approaching boaters gave us a wide berth.  They also graciously waited to point and laugh until I was out of earshot.  And then there was the phase when I’d get nervous, push too hard on the throttle, and gun the engine.

Practice makes . . . better.  I’m still far from perfect.  I started to practice putting the engine into forward and reverse before heading back into the marina (for those of you who drive stick shift, it’s equivalent to getting a feel for where the clutch engages).  No more gunning the engine.   I also took Carefree’s advanced docking class and learned how to back a boat into a slip, as well as other useful docking skills. I’ll get there eventually—if parallel parking in Manhattan can become second nature, so can docking a boat.

And many thanks to the Carefree dock staff (especially Lou, Cliff, and Paul) for your patience and maintaining a calm façade, even during my gunning the engine phase (and, also, for saving me from a couple of near misses).  If you were thinking “What the dock!” it didn’t show.

Photo #1 was taken on the Tom Sawyer, a St. Louis, MO, riverboat.

Photo # 2 is my recent successful docking at Knapp’s Landing in Stratford, CT.

Relax and Wave to Each Other

I’ve noticed that folks from all walks of life are drawn to the water.  In the harbor, I see fishermen, families with kids, and retired couples.  I see paddle boarders, kayakers, and thrill-seeking jet-skiers.  To date, I haven’t seen any other 5’ tall female power boaters out there . . . at least not yet.   The boats range from mega- yachts and hand-crafted wooden sailboats to dinghies, and on a beautiful summer day, everyone is outdoors, smiling, relaxed, and happy.

I’m willing to bet that boaters represent many walks of life and political views, yet most boaters wave to each other going in and out of the harbor.  Boaters also tend to help each other out.  We’ve had total strangers help us dock.  And, during a July trip to Port Jefferson, we saw this from a distance on our way home.  Rumors of an explosion circulated on the radio.  That evening, I read that a 33’ Sea Ray had caught fire in Port Jefferson harbor and was quickly engulfed in flames.  Thankfully, the four people on board escaped by jumping overboard, and a jet skier who was in the vicinity ferried them away from the burning boat.  Sadly, I’ve wondered whether people would still help each other out on land.  We certainly don’t wave to each other anymore.

Remember to be kind and courteous no matter where you are or how stressed-out or discouraged you get. Once you behave like a jerk, it’s difficult to take it back, particularly if someone captured it on camera and put it on Facebook.  It also wouldn’t hurt to talk to each other, think for a minute or two, engage in a civil discourse, and forge reasonable compromises.  Knee-jerk reactions are dangerous, and life is not a zero-sum game with winners, losers and nothing in between.  Intelligent people understand that there are always gray areas, and most problems can be solved if you think about them long enough, work together as a team, and dare to be creative—especially after the deadweight has been jettisoned.

We’re happier, healthier, and stronger united.  We’re dead in the water divided.